


Identity Crisis

by devilcouldweep



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Anal Sex, Begging, Choking, Dirty Talk, Friends to Lovers, Hangover, Harassment, Light Bondage, M/M, No Homo, No Spoilers, Public Blow Jobs, Sex Toys, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-11-29 23:19:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11451147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devilcouldweep/pseuds/devilcouldweep
Summary: When Ryuji helps Akira out at a party he discovers that his leader might not be the only gay one around.





	1. I'm not gay, but when it comes to you...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vaincity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vaincity/gifts).



 

It all started with a trip between friends. To be more specific, it was a trip to an adult store between  _ bros _ . Mishima had said that apparently they didn’t card there, so suddenly the boys got all dolled up for a ‘dudes only’ investigation. Akira was curious how Mishima came upon this information but didn’t tease him about it.

The trip itself had been embarrassing, but overall fun. It was obvious that they should have been anywhere other than that store, but the preoccupied clerk seemed disinterested, to put it mildly.

The gang oogled at the small collection of horse cocks, and laughed at the bizarre names of blow-up dolls. They wondered what sort of people would buy electro stimulation toys. All around, it was a great time.

The part that Akira thought was interesting was everyone’s purchases, though. He actually hadn’t expected to buy anything there himself, but the others looked at him expectantly, so he grabbed a fistful of the free condoms and some weird fuzzy black handcuffs.

“What did you want those for man?” Ryuji boisterously questioned. “I didn’t think Makoto was a bondage type, but I guess it sort of suits her.”

“They actually aren’t for her,” Akira corrected patiently, though not without some humility. Ryuji just assumed they were together because they both were intellectuals. She also grabbed his arm in fear that one time, but Akira didn’t see how that counted for anything.

“Oooh, I see; you can’t tell me who they’re for because you think I’ll tease you. Well, listen here, man--”

“No! No, you just don’t know her is all,” Akira quickly lied.

“Oh, word?” Ryuji laughed. “You can tell me about her later then,” he winked. Sure it was cute, but Ryuji only ever acted that way around Akira when he was too excited to correct himself. God forbid he ever do something that could be considered gay.

Ryuji sauntered over towards the large bin of discounted toys, no doubt using his bad posture to his advantage as he checked deep into it’s depths. Seemed like he was searching for something specific.

Akira forgot about Ryuji for a second and thought about who he could say he used the silly cuffs on, but he could only think of that shady doctor, Tae Takemi. She was nice, sure, but he didn’t really know her well, and he would feel bad every time he saw her if he lied about something so stupid.

He figured if Ryuji asked him about it later he could just say they were to be used on Akira himself.

Akira was brought back to reality when he noticed Mishima out of the corner of his eye, who was trying unsuccessfully to flirt with the clerk. Poor guy.

He decided to try and help him out a bit.

“Oh, s-so do you think you’re free later?” Mishima tried.

“No, I’m working until late,” the bored clerk responded.

Man, this was painful.

“Hey, how much is this?” Akira interjected.

When the clerk told him how much the cuffs were, he figured he still had a little more he could spend, so he pulled Mishima into a corner of the store with him.

Mishima somehow managed to look grateful and discouraged all at once.

“I wish I could be as confident as you, Akira. You didn’t even make conversation and he seemed to respond better to you. How are you doing that?”

Akira eyed the expansive wall of toys in front of him as he thought of his answer.

“I take a lot of medicated baths,” he declared.

“What?”

“It helps add to my charm,” he shrugged. 

Akira finally decided on a toy he wanted and picked it off the wall. It was an average sized vibrator, silver in color with rainbow glitter inside. He wanted it because he thought it was pretty, and it looked pretty good for the price.

“Whoa, is that for you?” Mishima asked knowingly. For someone so socially awkward, he really did pick up on the little things.

“How’d you know?”

“Awe, w-well…” he trailed off. “You’re gonna make me say it?” Poor Mishima was so embarrassed.

“No,” Akira laughed. “Forget I asked.” Of course, Akira already knew how Mishima figured it out. Mishima could easily see how thirsty Akira was, probably.

The three boys regrouped at the counter. Mishima had already bought his  _ adult product _ , and Ryuji was in the process of buying his. It was a cheap, transparent fleshlight, and a tall tube of lube. Akira thought the thing was kind of cute, though it just reinforced how straight Ryuji was with its realistic  _ vaginal _ design.

“Oh, nice,” Ryuji suddenly said as he looked back from his purchase towards Akira. He was eyeing the toy in Akira’s hands appraisingly. “I never thought about using a toy on a girl before but I bet it’s hella fun!”

Akira couldn’t resist his enthusiasm, so he just smiled and agreed, but he did earn a strange look from Mishima. Surely he must have been wondering how Ryuji could be so oblivious.

The artificial blond grabbed his items and receipt, then let Akira ring up his things as well. As the three left the shop, they realized that neither Akira or Ryuji had seen what Mishima bought.

“Bro, what did you get?” Ryuji heckled.

“I’m curious about it too, honestly,” Akira added.

“Oh, uh, well. This,” Mishima said, blushing without confidence. He pulled out a long wad of rope and a collar. Akira was proud that Mishima was able to share something like that.

“Dude, what’s up with that?” Ryuji said predictably.

Akira smacked his arm. “Don’t blow it up, dude. Mishima is showing us something personal.”

Ryuji scoffed as if he didn’t think he was wrong, but dropped the issue. Akira wanted to give that boy some damn sensitivity training. First he ran off his cat, and now he was trying to run off his PR manager. 

“Thanks, Akira,” Mishima smiled meekly. “I just… I like what I like.”

It was said simply, but Akira thought Mishima couldn’t have said it better. He wished Ryuji understood, that beautiful fool.

“Ryuji, it’s not like what you got is much better,” Akira teased. “Your pocket pussy is  _ very _ telling.”

“What!”

Ryuji was gaping like he’d just been accused of a crime, and the trio continued on down the busy street that way. Their friendly banter carried them all the way to the subway station.

 

~

 

No one expected Yusuke to be the one to tell everyone about a party, but apparently the whole gang was going to one that night. He said that there were some Kosei people with good connections for that sort of thing, so one thing led to another and suddenly they were all in an unfamiliar house with loud music and an alcoholic stench.

Akira sort of liked it. Ann was definitely excited to dance the night away, and Makoto came out of the kindness in her heart to make sure everyone stayed safe. Futaba stayed home, as she was unsure she could handle that sort of social interaction, and Haru seemed like she was just happy to be out with everybody.

The Girls quickly dispersed around the house, leaving Ryuji, Akira and Yusuke to figure out the house. Akira, admittedly, was just excited to try his hand at drinking.

Surely, this wasn’t about to be a terrible catastrophe  _ or  _ a never ending series of mistakes. No way.

Akira left Ryuji and Yusuke to establish his own path, probably his first mistake. He confidently entered the crowd and disappeared from sight.

Eventually he stumbled upon a table with a huge tub of punch and other sorts of bottles scattered about. There was tons of people dancing, talking, and playing various drinking games. Akira recognized beer pong and flip cup. He even saw some people playing Jenga.

“Hey dude, what’s up! I see you eyeing up the jungle juice,” A Kosei boy yelled at him over the loud music. This guy was handsome enough. He seemed like a third year, and he had his hair colored blonde and styled; in a way he looked like an artsy bootleg of Yusuke, honestly.

Still, as far as appearances went, he was good enough. 

“Yeah, do you think you could pour me a cup,” Akira winked at the man. Second mistake.

“Sure,” he said obliging him kindly.

Akira took his first swig in a huff of bravado, but discovered that it tasted just fine. It was just fruit punch with a hint of something like rubbing alcohol in it. No bad, he guessed.

“So, you’re not from Kosei, are you?”

“No, Shujin. How can you tell?”

The guy laughed, though not unkindly. “You have a daring aura. I thought that someone like you could only be from a school like Shujin.”

Akira didn’t know how to feel about a statement like that, but he felt compelled to keep talking with the guy. It was nice to flirt with someone and not have it instantly feel pointless, he guessed. How pathetic.

The more he talked, the more he sipped his drink. Eventually it was gone, so his friendly conversationalist offered him another.

Akira didn’t realize how much he was really drinking. It’s not as if the solo cups were huge, but the jungle juice was stronger than he realized. By the time he finished his second cup it was far too late to try and correct his mistake though.

The Kosei boy saw a friend of his nearby and called him over, though Akira didn’t think much about it until it was too late. He was swaying, though in his mind he felt like he was just in time with the music.

The guy he was talking grabbed him by the hip and pulled him close.  

“Hey, are you alright?”

“Mmh, yeah; I just really like this song,” Akira choppily replied.

Damn, what went wrong? The kosei boy’s friend suddenly came up behind him and pressed his hips close to Akira’s ass. It felt good and familiar, but honestly it was kind of scary too. How far were they going to go?

Akira unintentionally sighed at the attention.

“I can take you somewhere safe. You aren’t doing so well,” said the second Kosei boy. The first one agreed that they were there for his benefit.

Where was Makoto? Or Ryuji? It always led back to Ryuji with Akira.

“No, my friends are around here somewhere,” He reasoned, putting his hands against the first Kosei boy’s chest. He tried to push away, but the boy was able to deflect those advances. He just pushed a hand up Akira’s shirt. It made his body twitch.

“Didn’t your friends split off from you?” The second boy said. His tone was innocent, but it was a venomous question.

He finally pushed away forcefully when the second boy started kissing his neck, accidentally bumping that Kosei boy into an unrelated bystander. He obviously caused a commotion but he was quickly walking away from the scene. Who knew Kosei kids got so rowdy?

Akira found himself in the heart of the crowd. Everyone was dancing and having a good time. He decided to try and forget his hiccup and dance it away. He didn’t know he was actually a decent dancer.

He swayed his hips and basked in the exaggerated lighting. Everything Akira did was a theatrical event. He felt eyes on him.

The next thing Akira knew was that someone with blonde hair had grabbed his hips from behind.

“Ryuji?” Akira asked slowly.

Oh. It was one of those Kosei boys again. He couldn’t tell which one though.

“No, sorry, it’s just me,” he smiled. “I was looking for you.”

Akira kept dancing because he was willing to admit it felt good to dance with someone in his altered state. He hummed as if to accept the Kosei boy’s half-assed explanation.

“Did you miss me?”

“Hmm,” Akira moaned teasingly. “Probably not.”

“Harsh,” he laughed

Their bodies were indecently close, and Akira wondered how much time had passed. The Kosei boy was rubbing his hard-on against Akira, but he wasn’t sure if he minded. He felt good, but…

Hands started wandering along Akira’s torso. One on his chest, and the other teasing the hem of his shirt.

“O-oh,” Akira breathed as the stranger intentionally brushed his nipple.

“Do you think I can’t take care of you?”

“What…?” Akira was swaying really badly and he couldn’t even remember the music changing, so he figured that was a bad sign.

“If you come to bed with me I can make you cum so hard you forget all about whoever you came here with,” he whispered hotly against Akira’s ear. “You’re so hot…”

His feelings about this stranger were becoming very conflicting. He didn’t know what he wanted. The praise was getting to him far too easily.

“Have you had a threesome before? My friend and I are very interested in you.”

“A-ah… So what if I have?” Akira responded. Probably not his most intelligent response ever, he decided belatedly.

“What’s wrong with having a fun at a party?”

“Hey! Akira!” said a familiar voice. “Hey dude, back the eff’ off!”

Someone pushed the Kosei boy off of him, and Akira only recognized it was Ryuji when he pulled him out of the crowd. Akira stumbled alongside him gratefully. He couldn’t tell how sober Ryuji was but at the very least he was doing better than Akira.

“Hey, Ryuji,” Akira greeted him awkwardly. Man, this sucked.

“Hey, dude,” He said softly and kindly. He was supporting a lot of Akira’s weight, though Akira thought he didn’t need quite that much help. Still, he recognized it as an opportunity to be close to his artificially blonde friend.

“Ryuji, you’re my best friend,” Akira admitted. He found himself in a bathroom, and he was being seated onto the floor with his back pressed against the cold porcelain of the bathtub.

“Y-yeah… You’re my best friend too.”

Ryuji was rinsing out a solo cup in the sink and refilling it with water. He could feel that the water was warm but Akira didn’t really mind much.

“Thanks,” Akira said calmly, taking the cup from Ryuji. They sat together against the bathtub as Akira quietly drank.

“Uh, Akira…” Ryuji began suddenly. “Are you okay?”

“Hmm,” He hummed a noncommittal response.

“When I saw that guy grabbin’ on you, it looked like things were going to turn bad really fast. It made me so mad…! But then, I saw how messed up you were, and I thought you looked like he was making you feel good or somethin’...”

Silence fell over the small bathroom, but Akira’s small sips could still be heard.

“Hey…” Ryuji said. “Did you like it…?”

Akira could sense his friend’s insecurity but didn’t know what he could do or say to help it, so he was just honest.

“I thought he was you at first. I didn’t want to stop until I realized it was that guy from before.”

_ “Ah shit,”  _ Akira thought. “ _ Why don’t you tell him you’re gay as shit while you’re at it, you idiot.” _

Ryuji bit his lip and didn’t say anything for a while. Eventually, he muttered, “You would’a let me…?”

Akira didn’t know what to say. 

“That guy… He wanted to have a threesome with me,” he laughed hollowly. “And-- I don’t know if I would’ve said ‘no’ if you hadn’t showed up.”

Ryuji sat silently next to Akira, quietly trying to digest the information.He was staring a Akira’s lips, though the drunken boy had no idea.  Akira was scared, then. Scared of what Ryuji might think of him, knowing that he was used.

“Hey, I know this is weird for you,” Akira spoke up. He hoped his usual wisdom was returning to him. “But don’t think of me any differently, okay? I don’t want to think about what it would be like if you hated me…”

“Shit, dude,” Ryuji groaned. He pulled Akira into his side without thinking, clearly, but it felt so nice that he couldn’t bear to regret it. “How could I ever hate you?”

Akira couldn’t really drink his water in that position but he didn’t care. He was wondering how he would feel about this in the morning. He wanted to stay like that with Ryuji for as long as possible.

“...Maybe we should look for the others,” Ryuji said quietly.

“Maybe,” he whispered.

 

~

 

Akira woke up the day after that party and tried to forget how badly his head was aching. Not like that was his biggest issue, he was sure, because he basically admitted to Ryuji that he was gay- sober or no; this changes things.

He groaned against his pillow desolately. He shouldn’t have to worry about this. He should stare at Ann like a mindless fool like Ryuji seems to always do and just get used to ‘the straight life.’

Although he was exaggerating, it hurt to even joke about. Akira figured he better get out of bed and figure out where the damn Ibuprofen was. Hopefully Sojiro kept some around. Akira was doubtful.

He fumbled downstairs, and was thankful no one was there. The sun hadn’t even risen yet, so it was even darker than normal. Akira rooted around every drawer he could find but there wasn’t a pill bottle of any kind.

It made sense he supposed, but damn, did that suck or what? He poured himself a glass of water and thought about the unfortunate time he spent with Ryuji.

“Damn,” Akira muttered to himself. He dragged a hand across his face and lumbered back up the stairs directly into bed. Morgana was curled up in the sheets; he hadn’t noticed him lying there before.

“Good morning, Akira! Could you be any louder please?” Morgana spoke up. Akira didn’t know what he was supposed to do about the squeaky floorboards so he just ignored his friend.

“Ryuji and Makoto had to drag you up here a few hours ago. I guess you must’ve had fun?”

“Hmm,” he sighed. “I don’t know if I’d call it fun.” His voice was raspy from his poor condition, and it only spoke to how unhappy he was. He sipped his water carefully before setting it on the floor.

“I see,” Morgana said thoughtfully. “...When I’m human, I want to come with everyone and see for myself.”

Akira was reminded that he wasn’t the only one who had shit to deal with. Although his body would remind him of his bad decisions that night, he figured that he could forget about it for now. After all, being a phantom thief meant living without regret… right?

It was really sweet listening to Morgana talk about himself like that, but he could never say that to him, so he just lightly pat his head and turned onto his side, determined to get more sleep.

Except, his phone vibrated very loudly against the hardwood floor, startling him further into wakefulness. He was used to getting texts late at night but this was just frustrating.

He picked up his phone, cringing at how bright it was. He struggled to turn the brightness down but even the lowest setting was painful.

“Ugh, what do you want?” He questioned out loud.

It was Ryuji. His frustration was replaced with anxiety.

_ Skull: Hey ik ur probably slumped but I’m coming in a few to bring u some hangover stuff _

_ Skull: Ik all about that stuff bc of my parents _

_ Skull: Ur probly gonna need it lol _

Akira wondered if the trains were even running right now. He didn’t want to deal with Ryuji at the moment knowing that he would come in and reinforce how taboo it was to talk about their problems.

“Tell Ryuji to stop texting so much! Can’t he write it all in one message?”

Morgana was right.

_ Joker: Thanks. U can wait till later tho. Im tired af _

_ Skull: Oh alright _

_ Skull: See u later ig _

His obvious disappointment made Akira feel guilty, but he simply couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. He threw his dying phone back onto the floor after putting it on silent and closed his tired eyes.

 

~

 

Ryuji was nervous as shit. He doubted Akira would want to take anything from him but there wasn’t much he could do about the situation. 

He was psyched out about his friend being gay. He started freaking out about dumb stuff, like all the times they went out to eat, or the times they trained. But the more he thought about it, the worse he felt.

Was Akira really like that the whole time? Well, obviously he was, but that was a question Ryuji found easy to ask. He was trying to avoid thinking about more difficult things, like how it made him feel.

He wanted to feel anything other than pleased. Anything other than curious and excited and desperate.

When they went to the adult store together, were those toys for himself? Would Akira think of Ryuji when he used them? Was Akira really with two other boys at the same time once?

“Shit…!” Ryuji swore to himself, trying to think of anything that would make his growing erection go away. This was getting pretty hard to deal with. That’s why he needed an excuse to see Akira. He needed to go and prove to himself that things could be normal, and comfortable.

Ryuji didn’t have to ruin the most perfect friendship he’d ever had if he didn’t want to, and he  _ really  _ didn’t have to deal with any intrusive thoughts if he acted like they weren’t there.

Jeez, how pathetic could he possibly be?

Ryuji prepared his hangover remedy in his kitchen in quick, desperate movements, and threw on a hoodie without even thinking to put a shirt on underneath. It was a few pieces of bread sealed in a sandwich bag, two bottles of his favorite sports drink, and a two headache relief pills.

He tried to wait patiently for a time when Akira would wake back up and invite him over, but he could barely make it an hour.

To take up time and calm his nerves, Ryuji decided to ride his bike all the way to Leblanc. That should be enough time, right? The sun would be coming out by then, anyways.

Ryuji quickly threw his ‘remedy’ into a bag with various things he thought he would need for his confrontation with Akira already and rode out. He hoped his hands would stop shaking by the time he got there.

 

~

 

Akira woke up sometime later feeling less self-loathing, but his head was still heavy, and this time the nausea was worse. His temples were throbbing so badly that he decided he had to throw in the towel for this day.

He was ready to do just that, but he heard someone rustling outside of Leblanc. When he looked out the window he saw Ryuji chaining up a bike.

Akira forgot he was coming.

He groaned his way out of bed, wrapping his blanket around himself to keep the morning chill away, and answered the door before Ryuji could even knock.

He spooked Ryuji pretty badly by doing this. He dropped the key to his lock and yelped in an unmanly way. It made Akira laugh, which was a good sign.

Still, Ryuji seemed pretty nervous.

“Sorry,” Akira said groggily, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, you’re fine,” Ryuji smiled. He was having a hard time locking the bike up but eventually he managed to do it. Akira invited him inside, wondering if Ryuji’s hands were shaking as badly as he thought they were.

“Dude, I’ve never seen you looking so messy,” Ryuji commented lightly, just trying to make conversation. Ryuji was staring like some kind of maniac, but Akira guessed it couldn’t be helped. He decided he didn’t care.

“Yeah, I woke up a minute ago,” he yawned.

Akira didn’t know Ryuji was just staring because more of his face was visible with his fake glasses tossed somewhere. 

Ryuji swallowed harshly.

“So, you got a toaster around here? When my mom gets slammed she likes to eat toast in the morning. I brought drinks for you too, and some headache meds.”

They walked into Leblanc together and sat at the bar, staring at each other with the weight of regret on both of their shoulders. Somehow, Akira managed to smile.

“Thanks,” he said genuinely. “The toaster is in the cupboard above the stove; just plug it in anywhere.”

Akira waited patiently at the bar with his hands clasped together. He was just trying to calm his nerves, sitting there like that. He wondered in vain if Ryuji was going to  _ actually  _ talk to him. Ryuji likely wouldn’t even think of how painful it was to confess to someone and not get any sort of response.

“H-hey,” Ryuji poked his head out from the small kitchen area. “Uh… Do you want butter?”

Obviously that wasn’t what he was originally going to ask. Akira just smiled sort of sadly at him.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

He eventually came back to sit beside Akira, and handed him the toast on a small pie plate. Akira thanked him and started to munch away.

“Mom says bread sucks up the rest of the alcohol in your stomach. And these drinks,” he said as he handed one to Akira, “are a good replacement for that fluid.”

“Thank you,” Akira said around the toast. Then, things quickly got quiet. Ryuji could hear his heart all the way up in his throat.

“S-so…” Ryuji began, swallowing thickly. “This sucks pretty bad, huh....”

It wasn’t a question. Akira just stared at the half-eaten toast in his hand.

“Last night, you kind of told me-- Uh, well, do you remember what you said?”

Akira rested his chin in his free hand, forcing himself to face Ryuji. He must’ve looked so ragged sitting there wrapped in his blanket with his hair all over the place. Still, he faced Ryuju with as much bravado he could muster.

The blanket fell off his shoulders, and he felt the cold worse than he had before.

“I remember.”

“Y-yeah… Do you still feel that way now that you’re sober?”

Akira hated how hopeful that question sounded.

“It doesn’t have to change anything,” he sighed tiredly. “I know you’re only into girls.”

“Hey,” Ryuji reached out to grab Akira’s short sleeve. He balled the fabric up tightly in his fist, an expression of his frayed nerves. “Don’t close off on me… W-we can try--”

“Try what?” Akira said coldly. “Seriously. Try what?”

Ryuji swallowed and let go of Akira. “I w-want to touch you… That’s what you wanted last night, right?”

Silence. Ryuji let go of his friend timidly and looked away from his searching eyes, unable to face him head on.

“When that guy had his hands on you last night, it made me really angry for some reason,” Ryuji started to say with his hand on his neck. “I didn’t understand before, but… I’m not gay, but when it comes to  _ you _ … Akira, I want to make you feel  _ good _ , man. Even if it’s just bringing you toast, or a cup of water!”

Ryuji sighed in defeat.

“I guess I screwed that up too though, huh? I’m sorry.” He started to get up from his seat. “I’ll… see you around.”

He started to walk away, but Akira’s arms around his torso stopped him in his tracks.

“You’re going to leave me here again?” he whispered into Ryuji’s back. “You didn’t even wait for my answer… Were you scared to say that to me?”

“Dude,” Ryuji breathed. He was shaking, probably from being so bold.

“Last night, I thought that guy was you. I was prepared to give you anything you asked for, but it turned out to be nobody. Imagine my feelings when you came and dragged me into that bathroom.” 

Akira gently kissed the back of Ryuji’s neck, and Ryuji sighed heavily.

“When you pulled me against your side, it sucked so bad. I thought I had fallen for someone who would never want me.”

Akira’s fragile confession caused both of their hearts to beat twice as hard. Ryuji made Akira let go of his hold around his waist so that he could turn around and face him.

“I’m sorry,” he said with a heavy heart. He leaned towards Akira and chastely kissed his dry lips. It was sweet and gentle, like if he did anything more he’d break something.

When Ryuji pulled away, Akira pulled him back. He kissed him more firmly, daring to lick his lip lightly. Ryuji shivered.

“What else did you bring in your bag, Ryuji?” Akira whispered against him. “I saw it; I want to use it.”

“O-oh, seriously?” He flushed.

“Yeah. Do you want to?”

“Yes! Yeah…” Ryuji breathed almost desperately.

“Okay,” Akira said as he placed another kiss on him. “Then, let’s go upstairs.”

Ryuji grabbed his bag and followed Akira up the squeaky stairs. Morgana was on his way out as they were going up, luckily. Ryuji hoped he couldn’t overhear the two with his advanced sense or hearing, or the thin floorboards.

When they got to the bed, Akira forced Ryuji to sit on it and quickly climbed into his lap. He laced his fingers through his short hair and carefully watched his expression. Ryuji’s eye were closed, as if he was just trying to feel it better.

Timidly, Ryuji placed his hands on Akira’s hips. As if to encourage him, Akira began to grind into him.

“Don’t be afraid,” He soothed. Ryuji moaned quietly, trying to hold in the sound. He took it as a sign to be more bold. Ryuji smoothed his hands downwards so that he was firmly grabbing Akira’s soft ass.

“It feels so nice,” he whispered. “It feels better than a girl’s.”

Akira wondered who Ryuji was comparing him to. Not that it mattered.

“Do you want to touch me like a girl?” Akira asked lowly. He lifted his shirt to expose his pink nipples. Ryuji nodded his head, placing his mouth over one of Akira’s pricked nipples.

“Ah, that feels good,” Akira whined. If Ryuji wanted to touch him like a girl, he would let him.

They writhed against one another as Ryuji lightly sucked on Akira’s nipples, gripping his ass for dear life.

“G-get the toy…” Akira crowed desperately. 

Ryuji pulled away from his chest with a trail of saliva connecting them briefly. His lips lightly glistened , and Akira couldn’t tear his eyes away. He felt his own cock throb as Ryuji reached into his bag nearby and pulled out the onahole and lube he bought the other day.

Ryuji held the toy in his hands as he stared at the space between them. Akira’s cock tented his loose pajama bottoms, and he could feel him rubbing the tip of it against his stomach insistently. He thrust upwards as if to remind Akira that he was just as hard, and shivered at the feeling of being pressed so close to him.

Akira pushed Ryuji onto his back and took the toy from his hands. He got onto the floor and settled between Ryuji’s dangling legs. He was using the pillows to support his head so he could keep an eye on Akira.

He licked his lips as he suddenly pulled Ryuji’s pants down. His cock was so hard that as soon as it was freed, it strained against Ryuji’s fit stomach. Akira hadn’t seen a prick so leaky or flushed before.

“Good enough to eat,” Akira declared in his deep, suave voice. He licked a long, teasing stripe up the underside of Ryuji’s dick; He moaned softly as he let out a full body tremor.

So cute…

Akira took his sweet time, wrapping his wet lips around the soft tip of Ryuji’s cock. His goal was to play with the area until it became overly sensitive. Ryuji had his head tossed back into the pillows, shuddering harsh breaths.

“A-Akira…” he gasped. “That feels so good, bro.  _ Please, _ don’t stop.”

Akira loved hearing him beg like that, so he rewarded him with a particularly hard suck, teasing his leaking slit with the tip of his tongue. Ryuji looked about ready to cry.

And just like that, Akira pulled away from him. Ryuji was thrusting desperately into the empty air. 

“Do you still want to touch me like a girl?” Akira asked playfully. His voice was soft but deceptive.

“Bro, I want to touch you in any way you’ll let me,” Ryuji admitted sincerely.

Their eyes met, and Akira’s heart began to hammer in his chest once more. Ryuji’s eyes were pricked with tears, and he looked like he was drooling a bit.

“Good,” Akira whispered. “You’re going to get every piece of me.”

He squeezed lube over the toy, finally, watching as the liquid drizzled all over the silicone and his hand. Ryuji was watching him carefully.

Akira lined up the toy with Ryuji’s shaft, then. He squeezed it tightly, and lowered it slowly so that Ryuji could really feel it.

“A-Akira… I think I might cry,” Ryuji admitted.

Akira kissed his inner thigh tenderly, slowly pumping his leaking cock with a tight fist. “Are you okay?”

Ryuji’s breath hitched harshly. 

“Y-yeah,” He rasped softly. “Please don’t stop. Don’t stop.”

Akira decided to get closer as he pumped the onahole faster. He gently lapped and Ryuji’s balls, certain the boy never felt so good in his life. Akira, for once, was thankful he had been used so much in the past; he knew exactly how he should touch Ryuji.

Ryuji bit his lip harshly as he began to thrust into Akira’s hand with vigor. He leaned up out of the pillows so that he could pull on Akira’s hair, who moaned appreciatively around the light pain.

Akira wanted to touch himself so badly, but instead put Ryuji before himself. If he was trying to make Ryuji cum first, he wouldn’t have to wait long.

“Akira,” he panted desperately. “If you don’t stop--”

“Cum on my face,” Akira said, taking the toy away to use his bare hands. Ryuji was powerless to disobey him and came right then and there, as if on cue. The hot liquid got all over his face, and his hair, but he liked the feeling of being used like that. Akira moaned quietly as Ryuji violently gasped and shook throughout his orgasm.

“S-sorry,” Ryuji groaned. “So lightheaded…”

“Mmh, lay back for me, Baby,” Akira soothed as he licked his lips clean. Ryuji did as he was told, huffing and puffing harshly for his breath. Akira climbed back onto the bed to sit on his waist.

Ryuji looked good in nothing but a hoodie, Akira decided.

Akira was lucky there was tissue paper nearby. He grabbed a few sheets and cleaned himself off as best as he could while Ryuji came down from his orgasm. He finished quickly enough, and rested his torso against Ryuji’s.

Almost immediately Ryuji moved to hold him. He kissed Akira’s neck, subtly trying to enjoy his scent at the same time.

“It’s my turn to take care of you, now,” Ryuji claimed.

“I would love that,” Akira said gently, “But don’t push yourself.”

“Dude, you’re harder than diamond,” Ryuji chuckled. “I know you’ve been doing the ‘gay’ thing longer than I have, but I want to touch you… and taste you…”

Akira groaned softly. Ryuji was rubbing his back, but then he used his strength to turn them over. He looked up curiously at Ryuji, who was wearing an earnest expression.

“You can do anything to me,” Akira offered sincerely. “I’ve wanted this for so long.”

Ryuji leaned down and hummed against Akira’s jawline. He sloppily kissed his neck, and Akira wasn’t usually one for lovemaking, but he thought if it was like this he could get used to it.

He pulled up his shirt, hoping Ryuji would take the hint and touch him there, and he wasn’t disappointed. Ryuji began to suck roughly on Akira’s nipples, making him shudder with each ministration.

Ryuji rubbed his exposed cock against Akira’s clothed one to show him how hard he had gotten already. He leaned back so that he could take out Akira’s cock, and then he began to rub them together with need.

He placed his free hand against Akira’s throat as if to ask, ‘don’t you want more?’ Ryuji was teasing him. Akira would beg if he had to.

He increased pressure as he pumped their cocks together more quickly. Akira desperately tried to get more friction but Ryuji held him in place with his strong hands.

“What do you want?” He asked knowing Akira couldn’t reply. “How will I know if you don’t tell me?”

Akira let out a strangled gasp, then suddenly felt all the air rush back to him as Ryuji let go. He took the sides of Akira’s face into his hand and roughly kissed him. Akira tried to breathe around the kiss as their teeth clinked. It was so sloppy, but it felt amazing.

“Fuck me,” Akira pleaded, still gasping for air. “I want you to...”

Ryuji groaned, letting his head fall into the crook of Akira’s neck as he painfully gripped his hair. He continued to frot desperately.

“You want it that bad?” He questioned.

“Y-yeah” Akira breathed. “I’ve wanted to jump you since we met.”

Ryuji suddenly stopped pumping their cocks, keeping an almost painful grip on them. Akira whined like he was in heat.

“Who do you think of when you touch yourself?” He whispered as he thumbed the tip of Akira’s cock.

Akira shuddered a harsh breath, as if the question itself left him breathless. “It’s always you… No one comes close to you.”

“Akira,” Ryuji said suddenly. “Does this change things?” His tone was worried, and soft, and vulnerable like Akira hadn’t ever seen him before. Ryuji looked into his eyes earnestly.

He placed a warm hand to Ryuji’s cheek. “You want to go back after this?” He questioned sadly.

“N-no.” Ryuji affirmed. “I just-- You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, and you’re so smart, and brave, and you always seem to belong wherever you go. I don’t want to lose you…”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Akira reassured. He brought Ryuji’s mouth back to his, and they kissed once more.

“Where do you keep your toys, huh?” Ryuji asked him lowly.

“Under the bed…” Akira grinned.

“Don’t move,” Ryuji said. Akira obeyed as Ryuji got the box out. There were a lot more items in there than he was expecting, but it wasn’t like he minded.

“You’re so effin’ hot,” He groaned, eyeing up the collection. Suddenly, he pulled away and Akira’s heart dropped. He didn’t have to worry though, because Ryuji quickly pulled out the handcuffs he bought the other day and slapped them around Akira’s wrists. Akira looked beautiful like that, with his shirt pulled up all the way and his arms bound above his head.

“If you want me to fuck you, then I will,” Ryuji promised. “Just, walk me through it,” he asked with slight embarrassment.

Akira didn’t mind.

“Coat your fingers with some of that lube, and then finger me,” He breathed. “There’s no need to start slow… I practice a lot,” he bit his lip.

Ryuji took his instructions, pressing two slippery fingers into Akira with observant eyes. Akira’s prick began to leak as Ryuji pressed deeply into his ass.

“A-ah…! Ryuji, move faster,” He huffed.

Ryuji just grinned up at his flushed face as he began to piston his fingers more quickly. It seemed like akira wouldn’t need much more of this, though Ryuji was really enjoying how he tried to fuck himself on his fingers.

Akira was breathing heavily, groaning every so often as Ryuji occasionally brushed up against his spot. He couldn’t quite reach it well enough with his fingers though. Akira looked about ready to cry because of it.

“Ryuji,” He moaned over and over. “You’re so good, Ryuji.”

Ryuji couldn’t resist anymore, even if he wanted to, so he took back his fingers and coated his dick in lube. He rubbed his tip against Akira’s hole as if to tease him.

“D-do you want to go bare?” Ryuji asked hotly.

“Yeah,” Akira exhaled. “I want to feel it when you cum inside me.”

Ryuji groaned just from the pleasure of hearing Akira say that, and with one final teasing prod, he slowly sunk inside.

They groaned in unison. Akira arched his back high off the mattress trying to get more of that full feeling, and struggled against his binding. He wanted to touch himself so badly.

Ryuji began pumping into him quickly right away. It hurt, but Akira liked the feeling. He tossed his head back into the mattress as Ryuji greedily palmed at his body. He leaned over Akira’s chest, lapping and nipping at his stiff nipples. He kissed every sweaty dip and curve of his body.

It was driving Akira insane how he was touching every part of him  _ but  _ his prick. He was so hard that it was leaking freely and straining against his taut stomach.

“A-Akira, if you want something you have to tell me,” Ryuji said smugly, running short on air. As he looked up at Akira’s flushed, teary eyed face, he felt his heart skip once more, and he wondered why that would happen when he’s already inside. Ryuji was slightly embarrassed of how gay things turned, though not ashamed.

“I want you to jerk me off, Ryuji,” Akira panted. “ _ Fuck…!” _

“B-bro, you look so good when I fuck you like this,” He admitted. He started pumping Akira’s cock again, only this time he was sure to keep his pace agonizingly slow.

Akira shuddered and spasmed with every sensitive brush of his tip, pushed to the point of begging for more. Ryuji wanted to see him cum all over himself just from his teasing touches.

“Please, I need more,” He said brokenly. It was so hot to hear his voice, which was normally so strong, become strained and cracked.

“More of what?” Ryuji whispered as he continued to slam into Akira. He wouldn’t last much longer.

Akira just gaped, seemingly unable to voice a response as he came dangerously close to the edge of an orgasm.

“Let’s cum together,” Ryuji said hotly against Akira’s neck.

He pumped Akira’s dick vigorously, causing his body to tighten up. His eyes were screwed tight, and he was nearly screaming with how good he must’ve felt. Ryuji couldn’t find the strength or the will to take his eyes off of him.

Akira came slightly before him, shooting off so hard that it hit him on the chin. He was crying with the intensity of it, and his body twitched sporadically. Ryuji came not five seconds later, pumping himself gently into Akira with each spurt of cum. He was so sensitive after that he didn’t even bother pulling out right away.

With a broken groan, he rested on top of Akira’s still twitching body. They both panted heavily. Akira’s eyes were closed, and Ryuji just lay there trying to listen to his heart beat. Akira wrapped his arms around Ryuji’s overheated torso.

When Ryuji looked around the room he noticed that the sun had fully risen. Had they been together that long?

Not like he even cared. He hummed softly as Akira ran his fingers through his artificially blonde hair.

“You know what’s funny?” Akira suddenly asked.

“What?”

“My hangover is mostly gone.”

“Really?” Ryuji pulled away from Akira’s warm chest to look at him in surprise. “Honestly, I was worried I might’ve made it worse.”

“No,” he grinned. “Apparently great sex is a better remedy than toast.”


	2. You really got that kid by the balls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira and Ryuji try to get more comfortable together outside in the open.

 

Both of their phones went off in unison, though neither wanted to look for the noisy things since it was so comfortable cuddling up together in Akira’s bed. Still, when they both went off a second time, Akira decided to be responsible and check if it was anything important.

_ Oracle: So, how was the party last night? _

_ Fox: I rather enjoyed myself. I cannot speak for the others however. _

Akira was going to put the group chat on mute, but then-

_ Panther: if everyone is up for it, we should meet up. i want to make sure everyone was safe last night anyways. _

_ Queen: I can assure you that not everyone was safe. I would like to meet up too though. _

_ Oracle: That sounds like fun! Meet at Leblanc? _

Akira wanted to protest the meeting but he found himself unable to. He put his phone down and pulled Ryuji closer to his chest, kissing the back of his neck.

“Nothing important?” He asked sleepily.

“We will have visitors soon, actually.”

Ryuji groaned and pulled himself out of Akira’s warm grip. “They have to come here so early? What if they catch us?”

Akira looked at Ryuji as he acted scandalized, and tried to smile through his oblivious impulses. Still, it kind of hurt. He wanted to ask, ‘so what if they found out?’ but found himself unable.

Ryuji at least had the right idea to get dressed, so Akira followed in his footsteps. Things were a little awkward for the few minutes they had to wait for someone else to get there.

 

~

 

When everyone arrived at Leblanc, Akira was obviously more interested in hearing everyone else’s story than retelling his own. However, it seemed that everyone was curious about how their leader lost so much control.

“If you want my story, then you all have to tell me yours, first,” Akira declared, putting on a bold voice.

The room was silent. It seemed like no one in that room was free from embarrassment. 

“Well, I suppose I will go first if no one else would like to,” Haru spoke up timidly.

She told a story about how she became a makeshift bartender. She apparently was asked by a group of girls to make their drinks because they didn’t trust any boys to do it, and they went about the party boasting her drink making skills. It caused a crowd of people to flock her. 

Akira thought Haru was probably responsible for a lot of people drinking safely that night.

“I didn’t mind making so many drinks; In fact, it was rather fun! I didn’t get to drink much myself though…”

“Perhaps that was for the best,” Yusuke said sagely. It seemed like he had made some mistakes of his own. He chose not to tell his story, and let the others view it. He seemed like he still had fun last night, despite the regret he showed for his marred skin.

He lifted his shirt, revealing his pale skin and a  _ ton  _ of lewd drawings. Everyone got a decent chuckle at the body graffiti. There was one particularly detailed drawing of a lobster, though.

“Poor Yusuke,” Ann spoke up. She told a story about how she somehow had gotten into a dance battle and won. Seemed like Ann was pretty popular at the party. Akira was glad she hadn’t had any mishaps.

Then, suddenly, it seemed like no one had any more stories to tell, because they were either involved in Akira’s crisis, or stayed home. He began to sweat but he was sure no one noticed his distress.

“Well, fair’s fair. It’s my turn.”

Akira retold his tale of punchbowl manipulation, and the others chimed in that they were grateful he was safe. Akira left out the part about how he was almost willing to go with those two Kosei boys, but shared a knowing look with Ryuji, who seemed to be avoiding him since everyone got there.

“I ended up being dragged into a bathroom with Ryuji, and he gave me water. After that, I don’t remember much.”

“I can fill in here,” Makoto spoke up. Akira was glad she came to the party to be responsible. It saved his life, probably.

“Ryuji texted me telling me to ‘come to the bathroom,’ and I thought that was pretty suspicious. If any of us know Ryuji, we know that he has a tendency to… act on his hormones.”

They all laughed together at Ryuji’s expense, and he indignantly defended himself. It kind of irritated Akira too, but he felt like he shouldn’t have those feelings. Ryuji wouldn’t acknowledge what happened between them, so what was the point?

“But, he sent me this selfie,” She said as she pulled it up on her phone, “Of him and Akira. To prove his innocence, I assume.”

She showed everyone the picture, and Akira started to sweat more, if anything. In the picture, he was leaning against Ryuji with his eyes closed, and Ryuji was looking into the camera slightly flustered, holding up a peace sign as if to alleviate the awkward tension of the photo.

Akira may have to ask Makoto to send him the picture in private. Everyone seemed delighted about the photo in some way or another except for the two people in it.

“I knew that Akira was in trouble then, so I went and found them  _ all cuddled up. _ Then Ryuji and I took him home.” Makoto was smiling, obviously saying everything without any malicious intent.

“It’s not like I could help it! Akira could barely hold up his head. Of course I let my friend lean on me.” Ryuji’s embarrassment was painful. Akira didn’t say that it was actually Ryuji who pulled him to his side.

“Sorry, everyone, if I worried you.” Akira spoke up, trying to just avoid any more of that conversation. “And thank you, Makoto. I should’ve thanked you earlier.”

Of course, she said he was welcome, and the friendly chit chat continued until it was fully daytime, but Akira could feel that he had more to discuss with Ryuji.

 

~

 

He planned the trip to Inokashira Park loosely based around the idea that it would help Ryuji come to terms with his identity. It was easy for Ryuji when he and Akira were alone, but as soon as any of their friends were added to the mix, it seemed like things went back to the way they were before.

Akira once tried to hold Ryuji’s hand in front of Yusuke, and he yanked away like he’d been burned. It didn’t make sense to Akira because he was fairly certain Yusuke was far from straight himself. Regardless, he didn’t push Ryuji anymore after that, and tried to make him more comfortable with their relationship at his own pace.

That is why they wanted to start dating in such open spaces. Inokashira Park was a great place to start, because it was open and private at the same time. You could be surrounded by people but none of them were really paying attention.

“Are you sure you’re comfortable with this?” Akira asked Ryuji as they approached the subway together.

“Yeah, dude. I know you need more from me,” he said self-consciously. “I don’t mind.”

Akira patted Ryuji’s shoulder, boarding the crowded train together. Akira had his back pressed against the large glass window of the train car, and Ryuji was forced to brace himself against Akira’s chest.

“Awe man, I hate rush hour,” he mumbled. Clearly, Ryuji did not recognize the opportunity given to them. Akira grinned mischievously

“Maybe this is better than you think,” Akira claimed. “There are tons of people, yet they all keep their eyes to themselves.”

“What are you sayin--” Ryuji yelped in the middle of his sentence, flinching when Akira reached around him to squeeze his ass. “Dude, what are you doing!?”

“Just relax,” Akira whispered. “And be quiet. If you really want me to stop, then tell me so.”

Ryuji huffed uncomfortably, but leaned closer to Akira as if to feel more of him. He had his hands on his chest, trembling slightly from the nerve it took to do something so lewd in public. Seriously, anyone could be watching them.

But as Ryuji subtly looked around, he found that no one was willing to make eye-contact, or even glance his direction. That was a small blessing.

Akira recognized that this perhaps wasn’t the healthiest way to address their situation, but damn him if it didn’t feel good. In his past, he never got to be the one controlling the situation. It was cute, watching Ryuji squirm.

Ryuji sighed into Akira’s shoulder as he pressed his fingers soothingly against him. It felt too good almost. Ryuji was getting so worked up, he was pretty sure if Akira wasn’t pressed so close, his boner would be obvious to anyone looking for it.

“Hard already?” Akira murmured. “I love how easy it is for you. It’s cute.” 

Akira was whispering sweet nothings into Ryuji’s neck, and he struggled to keep quiet. He could see his flushed face in the reflection of the large window. Ryuji tried to carefully grind against Akira without being noticed.

Ryuji tried to gain some leverage by pinching Akira’s nipple, and it worked fabulously. He lost his composure, if only for a moment, and cried out too loud. Some people peeked in their direction, but quickly turned away.

“Wanna get caught?” Ryuji laughed playfully.

“Don’t make it sound so appetizing,” Akira smiled lightly.

They didn’t have much time left to sit on the train together, so they slowed down  their advances on each other. Ryuji was still achingly hard though.

Once they got off the train, the two of them made their way into the park. Ryuji had to zip up his too-large jacket to hide his erection, and was blushing over it before Akira could even do anything about it.

They walked along a trail together with nervous energy. Ryuji couldn’t stop staring at Akira.

Finally they found a place to sit together. It was a small wooden fence near the river, hidden by some trees and completely devoid of people. Akira took Ryuji’s hand, and for once Ryuji didn’t flinch out of it.

“You okay?” Akira asked, semi-serious.

“Y-yeah,” Ryuji laughed nervously. “I’m just hard as hell.”

Akira grew more bold, placing a hand on Ryuji’s thigh, and moving so that they were more face to face.

“Do you want me to take care of that for you?” He breathed.

“What, right here?” He said uncomprehendingly. “Dude, what if someone sees?”

Akira grabbed Ryuji’s dick through his pants, his hand slightly hidden underneathe his long jacket. 

“So what?” Akira questioned as Ryuji squirmed. “You’re so hard for me; you’re trying to say you don’t want me to suck you off right here?”

Ryuji gripped Akira’s shoulder almost desperately and hid his head in his neck. He spread his legs wider, as if admitting that he couldn’t resist Akira’s offer. He whined softly into Akira’s shirt.

“If you tell me you want it, then you can have it,” Akira whispered.

“I want it,” Ryuji admitted, and Akira rewarded him with a firm grip. He rubbed his palm against Ryuji’s crotch roughly, stroking the outline of his dick with love.

“I’d give you anything you asked for,” Akira said quietly. “So… Take it out for me?”

“Y-yeah,” Ryuji mumbled as he struggled to pull out his aching cock. His heart was hammering harder than he could remember in a long time. He tried to focus on Akira, who was wrapping his pillowy lips around him, and listen to his surroundings at the same time, but he found it hard.

Ryuji let out a strangled moan, trying almost in vain to stay quiet. Akira wasn’t playing around.

He bobbed his head enthusiastically, using his hand to touch the slim area he couldn’t cover with his mouth. Ryuji felt himself hitting the back of Akira’s throat with each swallow. Akira was moaning like a whore around the cock in his mouth, but it only served to turn Ryuji on more.

“F-fuck, Akira,” He cried out quietly, losing himself quickly. “I love you-- Ah…!”

Akira actually choked when he heard Ryuji say that, but he couldn’t pull away. He found himself becoming flustered. He just sucked with more vigor, moaning lewdly around him.

He was sure Ryuji couldn’t even think about the possibility of being caught with how good he felt.

“I don’t think I can last long,” Ryuji panted brokenly. He was petting Akira’s soft hair with care, looking up every now and then for passersby, but he found no one.

Akira pulled off of Ryuji with a satisfying pop, and jerked him off quickly.

“It’s okay. I want you to cum,” Akira soothed.

“W-wait, Akira,” he said in a rushed voice. “I think I hear footsteps.”

Akira could hear them too, but he wasn’t planning on stopping. He was getting off on placing a dangerous bet.

“But you’re so close,” He protested. Ryuji was squirming desperately, as if he wanted to pull away but couldn’t bring himself to do so. He panted harshly.

“Akira,  _ please.”  _ Ryuji begged as the footsteps got closer.

Akira kissed Ryuji to keep him quiet as he kept jerking him off, and he came seconds later, spilling himself all over Akira’s hand as Ryuji gripped him around the shoulders tightly. They continued to kiss as Akira fixed Ryuji’s jacket over his flagging boner, the footsteps passing by them slowly.

When Akira pulled away, Ryuji was still holding onto him and panting. He looked like he had almost cried with the intensity of his orgasm, but he was smiling wickedly.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” Akira asked smugly.

“Man, you are fearless,” He laughed breathlessly.

“Hmm,” Akira hummed thoughtfully and he brought his soiled hand to his lips, lapping up the cum like it was his reward. “I agree.”

Ryuji kissed Akira, tasting himself on his lips. He ran his tongue along Akira’s lips before being allowed to taste the inside. It felt nice to kiss in the open, Ryuji decided. He wanted to be brave for Akira and do this all the time.

“Do you want me to touch you too?” Ryuji asked timidly. Akira smiled, wondering how he wasn’t used to this feeling yet.

“Only if you want to. It doesn’t have to be here,” Akira said patiently.

“In that case, I think I'll wait till we get home then,” he winked.

They kissed again, but this time it was more chaste. 

“H-hey…” Ryuji started to say something. “About what I said earlier…”

“Hm? What did you say earlier?” Akira asked confused.

“I said-- dude, c’mon don’t make me say it again…”

Akira looked at Ryuji without understanding for an uncomfortably long time before it dawned on him what Ryuji could be referring to.

_ “I love you--  Ah…!” Ryuji’s voice echoed in his mind. _

_ “ _ O-oh…” He said in realization. Ryuji looked away in embarrassment.

“I meant what I said.” He said bluntly. This is exactly the sort of confession Akira had expected from Ryuji, but whether he took pleasure in being right or not was unclear. Akira didn’t know how he felt.

Suddenly, Akira began to laugh. It surprised the both of them. Ryuji turned back to look at Akira like he was committing a murder or something.

“S-sorry, Ryuji,” Akira gasped. “I just can’t stop laughing because I didn’t think you’d ever be able to say that to me…”

He continued to laugh like a crazy person as Ryuji stared at him in guilt and frustration.

Suddenly Akira wasn’t laughing as hard anymore. He was tearing up, and trying hard to just smile hard enough to make it look real. Man, was this just pathetic, or what? He swiped at his eyes as if that would hide the tears.

“Hey, man,” Ryuji said out of panic. He pulled Akira against his side again, just like that night at the Kosei party. “I’m really sorry. I meant what I said,” he repeated.

Akira let himself be held as he tried to just  _ breathe.  _ Luckily he didn’t actually start crying. 

“I’m sorry,” Ryuji repeated. He tried to soothe Akira by rubbing circles into his shoulder. Akira could tell that he was feeling some self-loathing over his inability to be open.

“It’s okay. I’m not trying to push you. I want to do things at a pace you’re comfortable with.”

It seemed like things had calmed down quite a bit. 

But then a thought occurred to him.

“Hey, did you ever zip your pants back up?” Akira suddenly chuckled, pulling away from his hold to look at him. It was sort of hysterical.

“Ah, shit,” Ryuji swore in disbelief, hurriedly reaching under his jacket. “Damn, I really forgot…!”

Akira continued to laugh as Ryuji tucked himself back into his pants. Eventually, Ryuji couldn’t hold it inside anymore and he began to laugh too.

“Bro, my love for you is so strong that I forgot to put my dick away,” he chuckled embarrassedly.

“I love you too,” Akira confessed.

He didn’t know what the next step for them was, but Akira was willing to bet that Ryuji would start holding his hand in public.

“So, should we stay? We can leave if you’re still in the mood after all that.”

Akira laughed at Ryuji’s constant willingness to get laid. “I just want to spend time with you,” he admitted.

They stayed and talked about everything and nothing for a while longer.

  
  


~

  
  


Ryuji had purposefully left his things back at the attic so that he would have an excuse to come back, Akira knew, but he would never admit it out loud. Akira didn’t mind much, though, and he was just happy Ryuji was easy to read.

They hadn’t been home long before Ryuji pinned Akira to the bed face first.

“Jeez, can’t you guys be a little more considerate?” Morgana yelped at them, quickly hopping off the bed and leaving the attic altogether. Akira shouted his apology at him as he enjoyed the feeling of being held down.

Ryuji had one hand firmly on Akira’s back with the other lifting his hips up. He used Akira’s position to rub his growing erection into his clothed ass.

“I can’t believe all the things we did today,” Ryuji groaned. “Did you like the thought of being caught? Do you want to be seen?”

Akira was pleasantly surprised at Ryuji’s vicious line of questioning. Akira tried to get some friction of his own by pressing himself against the bed.

“What if I said yes?” Akira said teasingly.

“Then I’d have to admit how much I want you to myself…”

Akira whined and tried to press against Ryuji harder, but his grip was too strong. The familiar hold was just spurring him on, however, and Akira could feel a wet spot forming in his underwear.

“You want it that bad?” Ryuji chuckled.

“O-of course…”

Ryuji yanked off Akira’s jeans as far as he could to reveal lacy black panties. When did he get these? It was like Ryuji forgot what his original goal was so he could grip Akira’s soft ass instead. His forgotten jeans rested by his knees.

Akira closed his eyes and sighed, relaxing into the feeling until Ryuji suddenly took away his hand just to slap it back down forcefully. Akira yelped, feeling his cock twitch.

He brought his hand down again, falling in love with the sound Akira made upon impact. 

“So, did you get these undies for me?” Ryuji asked cheekily.

“What do you think?” Akira responded sarcastically. He was trying to provoke Ryuji into more rough play, and he wasn’t disappointed. The third smack came down even harder than the last two.

Ryuji couldn’t stop staring at the red marks he was making on Akira’s pale skin. He groaned, using both hands to give him another firm squeeze. He could see a fraction of Akira’s pink hole when he spread him like that, and it was so hot. Akira moaned lightly, liking the feeling of being exposed.

He reached under Akira’s lifted hips to pull his leaky prick out from the panties, and stroked it as good as he could from that angle.

“What do you want me to do to you?” He asked lowly.

“I would let you do anything,” Akira whispered. “Just don’t take your hands off of me.”

Ryuji hummed in appreciation of his answer, as if Akira giving himself away like that turned him on the most.

He moved back away from Akira so that he could grab him by the hips and seat him on his knees. Akira was looking back at Ryuji and getting even further turned on by his strength, his hands fisted tightly into the sheets. Ryuji stared at the roundness of his ass, his peeking cock, and the way that Akira’s soft hair almost hid his eyes. Ryuji wasn’t sure how he had avoided his true feelings until now.

It felt like his heart was swelling.

Then, Ryuji pulled the black panties to the side and slapped Akira’s ass one last time, before lowering his lips to his exposed hole.

Akira moaned like a whore as Ryuji began licking him there. This was at least one thing he had never done before, and it felt so good. He felt good that he could give something to Ryuji no one had taken from him yet.

“ _ R-Ryuji _ ,” He gasped hotly. He couldn't stop saying his name as he lapped at him. Ryuji kept massaging his soft flesh, humming in acknowledgement every so often. 

Akira was really thrown when Ryuji reached around his spread legs to start pumping his untouched cock. Akira screwed his eyes shut and let out a sob of pleasure.

Suddenly Ryuji pulled away from him to look at his face. 

“Does it feel that good?” He questioned as he continued to jerk Akira off, though it was a question he already had an answer to.

“Y-yes… Please don’t stop,” Akira whined.

Who was Ryuji to deny Akira his one request? He went back to kissing his wet entrance lovingly. Ryuji wanted to show Akira how he really felt. He wanted to make up for the times he wasn’t strong enough to hold his hand.

Akira gasped and writhed against the sheets, getting tear stains all over the spread. He was twitching with each lick.

“H-hey, Ryuji… I’m so close,” Akira said breathlessly.

“Don’t worry, I got you,” Ryuji called up, draping his body against Akira’s back so he could kiss his neck. Akira crowed when Ryuji picked up the pace of his hand, and spilled shortly after.

They both collapsed to lay on their sides. He kept his eyes tightly shut to that Ryuji might not see his tears, but Ryuji gently lifted his face so that he could kiss him again, surely seeing what a mess Akira had become.

“I’m still hard…” Akira admitted when they parted.

“Oh, shit,” Ryuji pulled away laughing. When he looked down, he saw Akira’s messy cock still standing proud. “So you want more, huh?”

Akira kissed Ryuji once more, muttering, “Of course I do.”

“Then tell me…” Ryuji trailed off, tracing his fingertips along Akira’s smeared dick. “What do you want me to do?”

Akira was unsure what he wanted to ask for, himself. He listened to Ryuji’s boyish voice, and looked at his willing, accepting face. He would not have thought this was possible for the two of them.

“Just… stay here tonight,” Akira asked selfishly. “We can do anything you want, if you just stay.”

Ryuji wasn’t expecting an answer like that. He looked at Akira’s flushed face, realizing it must be hard for him to ask him something like that. “I-I’m not going anywhere…”

Ryuji took his hand away from Akira’s cock to hold his hand. It was clumsy, and he had a little cum on his hand but Akira couldn’t bring himself to care. It was his, after all…

“I know it sucks for you when we’re around everyone else. Shit, it sucks for me too. But, right now it's just you and me…”

He pulled Akira onto his back so that he could get on top of him, not minding the mess he was surely getting on his clothes. He cupped Akira’s face and pulled him in for a tender kiss, not caring that he cheek was wet with his own tears. He felt so warm.

“Ryuji,” Akira sighed. “Why don’t you grab my special box for me?”

Ryuji broke out into a large grin, and nodded his head with enthusiasm. He pulled away to grab the aforementioned box, which Ryuji was hoping to become far more acquainted with in the future.

They opened the box together, and Akira almost felt proud as Ryuji eyed his collection again.

“Which do you want to use on me?” Akira asked almost innocently.

Ryuji seemed interested in Akira’s jeweled plugs and the magic wand. Akira waited patiently as he chose which he liked best.

Eventually, Ryuji pulled out a medium sized plug with a red jewel on the end. “You look good in red,” he shyly admitted. “Can we use this too?”

He was holding the magic wand, surely curious about how they might use it together.

“Sure,” Akira smiled.

Akira finally yanks his pants the rest of the way off and tosses his shirt to the side as well, leaving him in the lacy black panties and tall socks. Ryuji follows his example, leaving on his patterned boxer briefs. Ryuji didn’t know how cute he really was.

He sat with his back against the pillows and his legs spread, watching as Ryuuji prepared the toys. He found the lube they would need and plugged the magic wand into the wall.

“This toy is kind of heavy duty,” He joked.

“Yeah,” Akira winked, “Wait till you feel it.”

That spurred Ryuji on, who quickly spread lube onto his fingers. He pressed gently into Akira, who squirmed impatiently once more.

“I’ve been wanting to touch you like this since we met at the subway station,” Ryuji admitted hotly. He had one hand gently pressing into Akira while the other rested on his stomach, right below his navel.

“Me too,” Akira breathed.

Once again, Ryuji could barely hit his spot with his fingers, but every time he brushed up against it, it made him go a little mad. It was the tease of a lifetime, and Akira couldn’t get enough. He loosely gripped his cock through his black undies, trying to get friction through the cloth.

Then, just like that, he stopped teasing and lathered up the plug. Akira moaned as he slipped it slowly inside; he loved how Ryuji seemed to be carefully watching the toy.

“Wow,” Ryuji groaned. “You look so good like this.”

Akira could only imagine how how looked with his legs spread like that, and his panties scandalously pulled to the side. The crystal was cute, which is why Akira bought it in the first place. He was happy to show it to Ryuji like this.

His cock was straining against his panties, pressed against his hip bone and leaking profusely. He curled his toes, needy for more contact.

Akira hooked his thumbs under the panties and let his dick stand tall between them. He loved the way Ryuji couldn’t seem to keep from licking his lips.

“Show me yours too, baby,” Akira whispered.

“Y-yeah,” He choked out.

Ryuji damn near threw his underwear to the other side of the room in his eagerness to show Akira how hard he was. It was cute.

Ryuji helped Akira out of his own underwear much more sensually, slipping the lace down his soft thighs lovingly. His face was close while he did this, and even Ryuji’s hot breath on Akira’s shaft was setting off sparks inside of him.

With every twitch, Akira was acutely aware of the plug in his ass. It was hardly enough; not with Ryuji’s thick cock right in front of him.

He waited for Ryuji to make his move as he resituated himself on top of him.

He poured a generous bit of lube into his palm, and grabbed both of their cocks. Akira thrust against his hand desperately trying to feel both the plug and his hand more intensely.

“Mmh,” Akira cried, “aren’t you ready to try that wand, Ryuji?”

Ryuji shuddered at the sound of his own name, flushed just as much as Akira by now.

“You’re r-right…” He gasped. He grabbed the wand and fiddled with the buttons on the side before it clicked to life. “H-how should I…?”

Akira smiled warmly and placed his hand on top of Ryuji’s unsure one, then he guided the tip of the wand against both of their shafts. Ryuji almost immediately flinched away.

“W-whoa, that’s intense…!”

“Is it too much?” Akira asked sweetly.

“No, I want to do this with you,” he admitted, “It just surprised me.”

Ryuji tenderly brought the wand back against their cocks, and flinched once more, but he managed to keep it there.

He moaned with Akira, and he couldn’t get enough of that feeling- Like they were in unison. 

Akira bit his lip as he kept his eyes on Ryuji’s face. It felt so good, he knew, but he liked seeing the artificial blonde driven to tears just as much. It looked like Ryuji was choking on words.

“Akira, you are so amazing…!” He managed to say. It seemed like he couldn’t  _ stop _ saying sweet nothings, but it only brought Akira closer towards the end.

Ryuji rubbed the wand against the tips of their cocks while using his other hand to pump them furiously. Neither would last long at that rate.

“R-Ryuji, I’m getting so close… I want to cum with you inside of me,” Akira confessed in desperation. Ryuji could only moan in response.

He pulled at the buttplug, taking it out slowly to tease Akira even further, who shuddered at the feeling. He sighed harshly when it was finally out. He was handed the wand when Ryuji moved to grab the lube.

“H-hurry…” he demanded as Ryuji put more lube onto his dick. That was nice of him.

He pressed in without much preparation or ceremony, and that was fine for Akira. It hurt, just like their first time, but it felt so good. He cried Ryuji’s name in a trance. Between the magic wand and his thick cock, Akira felt almost smothered in pleasure. 

Ryuji slammed into Akira again and again, their slick skin smacking loudly. Akira couldn’t possibly be worried about the noise at a time like this.

“F-fuck…!” He suddenly whispered, crying. Akira hit himself in the chin with his unexpected orgasm, splashing his seed on Ryuji as well. He just couldn’t stop crying.

“Hey, you alright?” Ryuji asked breathlessly. The poor boy couldn’t seem to catch his breath. He pulled the magic wand off of their dicks out of concern, and stopped fucking Akira so roughly.

“I just… came so hard,” Akira murmured through his tears. “I’m alright…”

Ryuji leaned up to kiss his wet face. “Good, I was worried there,”  he admitted softly. “I don’t want to hurt you… unless you ask me to,” He added with a wry grin.

Akira pulled his face even closer so he could kiss him more.

“Maybe next time I’ll see what you’re made of,” Akira smiled back, although tiredly. “You didn’t cum?”

“N-no, but I can see you’re done for. I can just… beat off.” He said embarrassedly.

“Mmh,” Akira hummed, closing his eyes. “At least cum on my face?”

“Dude, I love how you can say nasty shit like that without even blinking,” Ryuji praised. He was more than happy to comply to that request.

He scooted up Akira’s body so that he was closer to his face. Ryuji was looking down at him like Akira had created the moon and the stars himself; with complete adoration. Ryuji himself was flushed, sweating, and eager to just cum already.

It didn’t take him long to finish. The thick ropes covered Akira’s face, warm and sticky, and Akira couldn’t hold back a quiet, satisfied moan.

Ryuji groaned at the sight of Akira being drenched in his seed and looking positively pleased about it.

“Can I take a picture…?” Ryuji asked almost shyly.

“Yeah,” Akira chuckled. “That would be kind of nice.”

Ryuji shuffled around looking for his phone, which he found in his discarded pants. He made sure the flash was off, and snapped a pic.

Akira held up a “V” for victory and stuck out his pink tongue. He really did look cute like that, covered in cum and posing triumphantly.

“This is a great picture,” Ryuji breathed.

“Mmh,” Akira hummed again. “Could you find me a tissue?”

“Oh, sure…”

Ryuji cleaned Akira’s face for him, enjoying the soft touch probably as much as Akira himself. It was intimate, and it just felt good to be gentle with him. Akira pulled Ryuji in for a kiss when he thought he was clean.

“We should get dressed so Morgana can come back upstairs.”

“I forgot he was here,” Ryuji admitted sheepishly.

 

~

 

Waking up next to Ryuji was really nice. If Ryuji could only be comfortable with his identity when they were alone together, then Akira would allow him to have a place where he could feel comfortable. Still, he felt like Ryuji was getting better just by spending time with him.

Akira had his arm wrapped around Ryuji’s torso, and pulled him close to his chest. What was even cuter, was that Morgana seemed to be spooned up with them as well, curled up against Ryuji’s thighs.

He was almost giddy to see them close to each other like that, and Akira wanted to take a picture but instead hoped for more mornings like this in the future.

Eventually, though, Akira really had to use the bathroom. He kissed Ryuji’s neck as if in an apology, and tried to slip out of the sheets undetected. 

Ryuji stayed asleep, but as usual, Morgana was woken up.

“Sorry,” Akira whispered to his groggy friend.

“You two are gonna kill me,” he muttered.

“Heh,” Akira huffed embarrassedly. “I’m sorry about last night too.”

“...Forget about it. We’re all just happy you two are finally together,” Morgana said tiredly.

“Hmph, Thanks. It’s not very surprising you guys figured it out. I wonder how Ryuji would feel about that though.”

“He’ll get over it,” Morgana declared.

Akira smiled lightly, deciding to head for the stairs and leave his friend be. It was a huge relief to finally get to the bathroom. He washed his face when he was all finished up and brushed his teeth too, though he was sure he would fall back asleep when he made it upstairs.

He exited the bathroom to be faced by Sojiro. He was looking at Akira with a stern expression. The color drained from his face.

“Would it kill you to keep it down?”

How could Akira forget that Sojiro had been downstairs last night?

“Look, I’m happy for you, but you’re driving business away with all that carrying on!”

“S-sorry,” Akira muttered. Is this how Ryuji feels when he thinks someone has seen him being something other than straight?

Sojiro seemed almost guilty then, and a little empathetic. He clapped a hand to Akira’s shoulder in an awkward, yet fatherly way. 

“Just… don’t let it happen again,” he sighed. “You really got that kid by the balls though, huh?”

Akira thought he might die. 


End file.
